10 things to keep in mind when making parenting arrangements

If you are in the midst of sorting out parenting matters there are 10 key things to keep in mind.

1. Best interests of the child is the paramount consideration

The paramount consideration in any parenting matter is the best interests of the child. The Family Law Act requires that the Court must consider the following matters:

• The benefit to the child of having a meaningful relationship with both parents;
• The need to protect the child from harm;
• The views expressed by the child (taking into account the age and maturity of the child)
• The nature of the relationship between the child and the parents.
• The effect on the child of a change in their circumstances.
• The practicalities of the child spending time with each parent.
• The extent the parents have taken (or have not taken) to spend and communicate with the child.
• The capacity of the parents to provide for the needs of the child (including emotional and intellectual needs).
• The attitude of the parent towards the child and the responsibilities of parenthood.
• The maturity, sex, lifestyle and background of the child and the characteristics of the child
• Whether the child is Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander.
• The extent the parents have taken (or have not taken) the opportunity to participate in making long term decisions about the child
• Whether the parent has maintained the child
• Whether there is or has been a family violence order.
• Any other relevant fact or circumstance.

2. A child has the right to a relationship with both parents but they must be protected from harm

In each parenting matter, the Court must consider both:

• the benefit to the child of having a meaningful relationship with both of their parents; and
• the need to protect the child from physical or psychological harm from being subjected to, or exposed to, abuse, neglect or family violence.

If there has been family violence or is a risk of the child being subject to or exposed to family violence then this will be taken into account and weighed up against the right to the child having a meaningful relationship with the other parent. The Court will weigh up the risk of potential further harm and the right to the child of having the relationship and will do their best to ensure that the child has a safe and appropriate relationship with both parents.

3. Parental Responsibility — equal parental responsibility does not mean equal time

A final Order will be made setting out parental responsibility for the child. Parental Responsibility includes long term decisions about a child (such as their education, health and religion) as well as the day to day decisions about a child. Family law orders can provide for parental responsibility to be “equal”, that is shared by both parents or “sole”, that is only to be exercised by one parent. Equal shared parental responsibility does not mean that a child spends equal time with their parents. Parental responsibility and orders setting out with whom a child lives and with whom they spend time are separate matters, however the level of parental responsibility is relevant when making Orders about children’s living arrangements and the time they spend with each parent.

4. Parents have an obligation to encourage and facilitate a child’s relationship with the other parent

A child has the right to have a relationship with both of their parents (provided such a relationship is deemed to be in their best interests). Parents are obliged to both facilitate and encourage a continuing relationship between their child the other parent. This means that parents need to actively do all they can ensure their compliance with any parenting arrangements.

5.Children do get their say (if it is appropriate)

A child’s views about parenting arrangements will be considered by the Court. The views of the child could be obtained through a family report, reportable therapeutic family counselling or through the appointment of an Independent Children’s Lawyer. Although a child can have their say they are certainly not dictators of the arrangements based on what they believe is in their best interests. The particular child’s characteristics including their age and most importantly, their maturity will be taken into account by the Court when considering the weight to give to the asserted views.

6.Arrangements need to be practical

Parenting arrangements need to be reasonably practical. The distance between respective houses, the ability to get the children to and from school, the parents working arrangements, etc. will all be considered. The arrangement needs to make sense and fit with the family’s circumstances in a practical way – seeking impractical arrangements or or requiring people to comply with impractical arrangements can often lead to issues with compliance down the track.

7. Special occasions/school holidays time will generally need to be shared

Understandably both parents generally want to share in special occasions and school holiday time with their children. Children have the right to have time with both of their parents on such occasions. it can certainly require an adjustment and usual arrangements that have been in place during the relationship often need to be altered. Parenting arrangements generally cover school holidays, Christmas, Easter, public holidays, Mother’s and Father’s Day, children’s birthdays, religious celebrations, etc. and are often alternated on an annual basis.

8. Parental involvement with the school can continue

Involvement in a child’s school and their extracurricular activities is part of being a parent – it does not end with a relationship nor because one parent is spending less time with the child than the other. Often, parenting orders provide for both parents to be able to communicate with the child’s school, to obtain school reports and photos, and the right to attend school functions and extracurricular activities.

9. Denigration is never a good idea

It is very important that parents shelter their child from parental conflict and their unnecessary involvement in the family law matters. Parents should avoid making negative comments about the other parent (or members of the other parent’s household or family) or discussing family law matters in the presence or hearing of their child.

10. A change involves an adjustment for all

It is important to remember that Orders may need to be tweaked from time to time. Final Orders may also need to provide for time arrangements to progress as children get older, as is often the case with young children which can require a build up to more overnight time and longer periods of time away from their primary carer. Orders cannot simply provide for every circumstance of a child’s life until they reach 18 years.

Summary

As family lawyers, we get to see that, thankfully, most families adapt and adjust well to their new parenting arrangements. It may be initially hard to take in during the rawness of the early periods following separation, but the truth is that your ex-partner is generally going to be in your child’s life for the rest of their life. There are many things to consider when making parenting arrangements and It is important that parents put in the effort to make sure that children are well supported and do all they can to ensure that new arrangements are implemented as smoothly as possible.

If you require any further information or have any queries about your parenting matters, you can speak to one of our family lawyers by calling 03 5445 1000 or by making an online appointment.